Pero kanina, malapit na ako maiyak. For real. Ang babaw ng reason, yes kaso ganun talaga eh. zzz. Konsensya rin kasi. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bat kailangan ganun. :(

Ewan ko kung bakit ako nagkkwento sakanya eh. Detalyado pa. HAHAHA! Tapos kanina nag letter chuchu kami sa bago kong crush. 8D Katuwa much. :> Hahaha! Nung una eh ayaw pa maniwala. HAHAHA! Kasi sa pagkakatanda ko, siya lang naman yung may 10 letter name sa klase nila. Nagdududa pa daw si TL dun. Pero in the end, no choice siya eh. Siya nga talaga. ANG KULIT LANG NAMIN. >:) Syempre nagsisimula akong bumanat. >:D HAHAHA! Kala ah, syempre magaling din ako. 8D MWUAHAHAHAHA. Natatawa ako sa mga ginagawa ko ngayon. :P

Naiirita ako. Lahat na ng feeling nararamdaman ko. Feeler ako eh. Makapal pa ang muka.

Yung feeling ko na kailangan ako yung sentro ng attraction which is very much impossible na mangyari kasi wala eh. Impossible lang talaga. Nakakaasar. Nakakaiyak, ewan ko ba. Lahat na lang eh. zzz. Inner thoughts: Tangina ka kasi, feeler. Alam mo na ngang paasa, umasa ka parin. Gaga. Kapal-kapal din kasi ng muka ko mag-assume, sorry lang ah. :) Pagpapakatanga nalang, sa maling tao pa.

Yung feeling na dati pag sabi ko in-love ako, joke lang yun. Kahit yung kay Kuya Kenneth, tangina aminado ako, 3 year-crush ko pero hindi ganto. zzz. Yung selos effect? Hahaha. Landi lang ng mga kaibigan ko yun eh, pakulo lang. Edi sakyan. Eh kaso ngayon? Automatic ako nagseselos. WOW. Kayo? Kayo? Piller. Pakyuser. :| Nagseselos ako, saan? Hindi babae eh, lahat. Sa lahat ng taong kinakausap mo. Parang yung atensyon mo sakanila nakabaling, hindi mo na ako pinapansin. Ayoko naman magpapansin kasi nakakaurat din yung feeling na may papansin sa paligid tsaka ayaw kong mangulit. Ayun.

Nakakaasar kasi eto talaga yung mga moments na kailangan ko ng kausap. Sabi ko naman sainyo, random akong nilalang. Biglaang magbbreakdown. Kanina okay ako eh. Woo, edi magkausap kayo. WALA AKONG PAKI. Pero every moment na inaantay mo nakakadurog sa braincells. Paker. Hypothalamus ko wasak na. zzz.

Pwede po magpatanggal ng hypothalamus? -.-

I started blogging on Tumblr na, guu~

Some random thoughts. Btw, I am enjoying Tumblr and Twitter. D: Soon my Blogger and Facebook account will be vacated. Loljk~

Naaaliw ako sa sarili ko. I wished for three consecutive days na I want him to stay with me forever. What an idiotic wish knowing na it is theoretically and virtually impossible kasi first and foremost, walang dahilan para magsama kami. Second, NINJA siya eh.

One-sided and unrequited love, theme ng buhay ko ngayon. For the person who swore na hindi magmamahal, this is pretty much ironic. I learned HOW to. And I both hate and love the knowledge that I acquired. I hate it, syempre sino ba namang tangang matutuwa sa something unrequited diba? Hindi naman siya something na kailangan mo ipagmalaki or something like that. Tapos love, kasi, eh? Ewan ko. The word itself. Love. Or rather the person whom I love right now made me feel that way. Eww. Ang landi, shet. When it comes to love, ang hirap mag explain eh. Wooo!

Pagsarili kong love life, di ko masolusyunan. Samantalang pag iba na, nako pakielamera hanggang maayos eh. Abnormal lang. Pero sa ngayon, I feel na nagddrift-away na yung feelings. Parang ang cold na sa isa't-isa, wala na yung "sweetness". Parang paasa lang. Ganun. Boogsh.

That what I hate about it. May mga taong nagbibigay motibo. Sweetness, eternal care, pambobola, nilalambing ka, may :* at :">, may pa I miss you na nalalaman per yung totoo eh landi lang yun. Charotero. GFYAD. Manwhore. asdfghjkl; Yung feeling mo na lahat na ng tao sa paligid mo ay akala na kayo na tapos feel na feel mong idedeny pero sa loob-loob eh gusto mo din. Malandi. HAHAHA. /wrist Pero is it a sin to love?

Yes. Karamihan ng pagkakasala ay nagsisimula dahil sa pagmamahal. Masyado mong mahal yung mga anak/kapamilya mo at namumulube kayo, you'd steal. Masyado mong mahal yung isang babae/lalaki over your wife/husband magkakaroon ng kabit. Masyado mong mahal yung material things, you tend to be greedy. Masyado mong mahal yung pagkain, sige lumamon ka. See? Deadly sins. Pagkakasala, SIN.

Guuu~ My random thoughts. Ninja na umabot sa 7 deadly sins.

I mean ngayon kami nagccram ni Grench kasi ayun. Dapat kahapon or nung isang araw kami mag-uusap sa chat eh kaso hindi naman ata namin nakasabay mag OL si Emalyn. D: So ayun. Wala siyang book tapos ako na meron eh hindi na gets yung story. Tapos ayun. >w< Sabi niya gawa daw ako questions and such. BAKIT BA KASI ANG TANGA-TANGA MO ANNE? YOU VOLUNTEERED FOR SOMETHING TAPOS SIMPLENG BAGAY EH HINDI MO PA MAGAWA.

asdfghjkl; Tara gawa.

So para akong may multiple personality disorder at depressive disorder, or some random mental disorder. :| At times, ang saya-saya ko but then I started to realize stuff, dun ako biglang umiiyak nalang. Parang ngayon lang and I try hard para i-mask with a smile yung sakit. MAY TALENT NA AKO SHIT! :O

Isipin nung iba, ang shit ng drama ko sa tweets at FB status ko, care niyo? asdfghjkl; Di lang kayo pwedeng magdrama. Tss. :( Isipin din nung iba, landi daw ng drama ko tapos parang naghahabol ako na ewan. OO NAGHAHABOL AKO, OK? SAYANG YUNG FRIENDSHIP EH. Nakakaiyak ng sobra isipin. Kahit na magmuka akong desperada or the likes, ayoko ng friendship over. Lalo na kapag yung taong yun yung isa sa mga pinagkakatiwalaan ko, isa sa mga super close ko, isa sa mga napamahal na talaga sakin. Masakit ng sobra. Feeling ko hindi ako worthy magkaron ng kaibigan kung ganun. Putragis. /wrist

Hindi ko alam kung anong meron eh. Hindi rin naman tayo tanga. Alam ko at alam mo na para satin lang din yung mga pasaring. Well, siguro sabihin mong mali ako, edi ako na feeler. PERO ALAM KO TALAGA EH. I CAN NEVER BE WRONG. Yung feeling na tinry ko na nai-approach yung tao pero pinipilit niya putulin yung connection. Yung feeling na may ilangan, may conflict pa din. Hanggang like nalang, 1 or 2 comment exchange, done. Grabe. I mean, alam kong busy ka pero at least wag naman sanang iparamdam na basura lang ako. Nakakagago much?

Feeling ko, nawawala na lahat sakin. Feeler ako eh, paranoid. Mga kaibigan ko, yung ability to write ko. Write as in sumulat. :| Nananakit na yung kamay ko, idfk why. Yung mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan ko, yung mga mahal ko. :(( Ang sakit0sakit isipin na after all these time, after all the troubles, the promises, the joys and sorrows, iwanan sa ere. Boom. Masakit yun o, dirediretso ako babagsak, mamatay. Yehey! :|

I am emotionally unstable. Konting nangyayari, umiiyak ako. Ang over sensitive ko, yes. Pero sa personal, hindi naman ako ganto ng sobra eh. Boo. Ayokong nakikita ng iba na weak ako, ayoko na nakikita nilang umiiyak ako. First and foremost, nakakahiya, second, deadly pride. Wag kayong magtaka kung one of these days mamamatay ako dahil dyan.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore~ :| Umiiyak na naman ako. I promised myself that I wouldn't. Tangina lang eh. Nakakailang paulit-ulit ko nang sinasabi yan. Great great. Feel ko nang mawala sa mundo na toh. Para less problems. Lutang nalang yung feeling ko palagi, cloud nine. BV.

I am under paranoia and suicidal state. Hindi mo lang alam.

I don't know what's up but I really feel at fault. I keep on blaming him, but then I think maybe it's just me. :( It's what you call guilt. Something I rarely have.

But I guess, everything's just over. I did try my hardest. I am not giving up, but I can already see the ending. I don't want vain wasted efforts, I don't like the feeling of defeat.

We had a bit of misunderstanding but I hope everything's fine now.

I just miss these guys. :DD

Wooooo~! I miss Sis, Labs and Kuya. Imysomuchguuuys! >:D<

Oh an me ish gonna see Sistarr tomorrow! Yay! :3

Simpleng joke, sineseryoso ko. Oo, ganun eh. Pero pag ako nagjoke, okay lang. Bastos. Pero ayun talaga eh. Wala lang, random thoughts.

Confided na siya sa at mapupuno na, so please go online now?

Before, whenever I hear the title, I knew immediately who sung it. When I hear the intro, I dash to the radio just to sing-a-long. It is just so depressing on how growing old made me forget all these stuff. Guuu~

And now, I don't know when it started, but we started reminiscing these songs. HAHAHAHA. \m/ Rakkon. And unlike those crappy old songs, I listen to this with a grin on my face. Grinning because I feel happy. ♥

End.

Napakama-pride kong tao. I won't step down if I know na wala akong ginawang mali, the same thing goes for that person. Sabi ni Hannah, misunderstandings. Idk.

Hindi ko alam kung pano nagsimula ang lahat. I am insensitive. I am. I admit it, pero I cleared things up naman eh. Sadyang, iba nalang talaga yung dating. Nakakatakot na.

Perstaym kami nag-away.

Perstaym niya ako pinaiyak.

Wow.

Hindi nalang si Jono nakakapagpaiyak sakin.

Wala lang.

I just feel so tired. I am not used to dancing. HINDI NAMAN KASI TALAGA AKO SUMASAYAW, DAMN LANG. :)) Tapos may stunt kami ni Hannah, itago natin sa tawag na "check" grabe ang hirap. T^T I mean, madali lang siya i-execute kaso kasi binibigatan ni Hannah pag inaapakan niya ako PLUS UTANG NA LOOB, MERON AKO NGAYON KAYA NGINIG NA NGINIG AKO. :| Sabi nga ni Hannah, baka daw magkapasa pa. HAHAHAHAHA.

Pero masaya ako. LOL. Natatawa ako kanina kay Paula. SAYANG! Hindi siya sumakay dun sa jeep na may gwapo. HAHAHAHAHA. Tangama. \m/ Ampooogi eh. :3

WOOO! Ang saya lang, usapan namin ni Hannah kanina kung sino yung dalawang lalaki sa buhay ko. :)) Wee~! Sabi ko sakanya, sa totoo lang 3 yun. Kasi 3 naman talaga, ginawa ko lang dalawa kasi para masaya. :/ Ayuuun. Si Inspiration at si Crush. In-explain ko pa kay Hannah yunh hierarchy nyan!

Mas mataas si Inspiration ko kesa kay Crush. D: YEAH.

Okay wala na. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Whatebuuuuuuuuuuuuur. :| Basta irritated ako, nag-online kung kelan wala ako sa bahay. May kailangan pa naman din ako! T^T Tapos isabay mo pa yung sapul-sapul na status ni Gg! -_____- Buti nalang eh medyo GV ako ngayon kasi pinagttripan si Hannah kundi iyak-iyak na naman ako. D:

Oh. Ansakit ng tyan ko. =w= Feel ko lumafang ng maanghang. Ayan, hangal. HAHAHA. Wooo~ Isumpa kang ulcer ka.

Naalala ko, na postpone na naman yung pikchuur viewing namin ni Pio! T^T NAKAKAINIS! :((

/wrist

We were the one's to leave the school earliest so we went out at around 9-10 in the morning! I was expecting some noise inside the van but it was the opposite~ Too much deafening silence. XDD And even though we're seated beside each other we need to send text messages just to converse. :)) Everyone's wearing earphones that's why you need to do that. The whole trip, I was sending text messages to Grench, who's just a person a way to the left. LOL.

As I usually say, patience is most definitely not my virtue, but then I waited because I have to. :| I, or WE, waited for 3 damn hours. O____O But it was definitely worth it. Sitting in the front row seat during the presentation, having the actors by yourself. LOLjk! And I get to see Juanito up close than most of my batchmates! *brags.*

Ohh. Before I entered the theater I ate some jawbreakers. :)) And my jaw just literally break. Nahh, kidds. But my jaw locks from time to time. Ittai~ T^T And since I am a person with sweet tooth, *drools.* I traded my Skittles for Brian's Caramel Cadburry! ♥ LELELELEL. My half-emptied Skittles. :))

Honestly, I felt that I annoyed him somehow. XD Why?

Well that's it I guess. But I still get the feeling that I did. :PP

Yeah yeah whatever. WALANG GWAPO FROM OTHER SCHOOLS. THAT'S IT. :))

Pero ngiti palang ni Juanito, okay na ako! ♥.♥ HAHAHAHAHA. LOL.

Landi amp. Pero there was something embarrassing. On the way out of the theater, I was holding Aldrin's bag and I think I kinda lost him. Well did I mention that DLA-LP students were also there? =w= Since we guys have the same uniform, I hold on to some random guys bag. Good thing that I realized it before he did. =w= GUUU~ :|

Lalala~ DQ! Strawberry Banana! But I should have bought Strawberry Cheesecake! Speaking of, I ate Mango Cheesecake from KFC before that. XD Delish~ I am drooling and wanting for more! *drools.* HAHAHA. And I missed the taste of Strawberry Krushers!

Lala~ On the way back to school, we had the same scenarios. Oh, this is when Brian gave me his milk! LEL. :""> So anyway, damn quiet guys with earphones stuck in their... our ears. The difference is that most of us were asleep! XD I slept with my head resting on Paolo's back. =w= Pillow! I want to seat on the floor but Eunice doesn't want me to. >:D LEL.

Anyway, when we reached school I was like kinikilig! XD The first person I saw, well except for Kuya Guard, was Clint. ♥ And I was not kinikilig for my sake! Yes, I grew up already! XD I am not going to fan girl mode for him. So why am I kinikilig? BECAUSE I KNOW HE WAS WAITING FOR MY FRIEND! KYAAAAAAAA~ Whale! :))

We walked from school to 7-eleven. Tryke. I ate dinner, used the lappy, went to the other room and slept. O.O

When my Lola woke me up I really am sleepy as hell but I managed to send group messages that time. LEL. I don't want to transfer to the other room because I know by the time I reached there, I won't be sleepy anymore. And I was damn right. =w=

Good thing Kuya Jono's still awake. He kept me company. Guu~ I was charging my phone when we were exchanging text messages and when I wanted to go up na, I unplugged it. LEL. The battery of my phone will break soon enough. :))

And I was like somehow irritated yet kinikilig. HECK. Pano ba naman, pag-usapan niyo eh lovelife, aka crush at inspiration ko? O.O :"""""> Eh kasi naman. :|

At first I told him na crush ko yung nagplay na Juanito. LOL. But naah. Those 2 people are close friends. :"> LEL. Ma-charot. :&& But I was like -.- when he pitied me when I told me they had girl friends. :)) Fck. Malay mo wala. I can't be too sure. =w= EH PAREHO SILANG MAY KA IN A RELATIONSHIP SA FACEBOOK EH. asdfghjkl;

Similarities of my crush and my inspiration; I met the both of them online. They both have girl friends already. They both SING well. ♥ And they just make me smile everytime. OHOHO!

Landi puts. :)) Anyway, I dreamt of something. But I forgot what it is. HAHAHAHAHA. K.

I am like happy todaaay! Even though I had issues in Tumblr, the osom guy playing the piano made it all go bye bye! HAHAHAHA. Tangama ang gaaaling.

Ok, bye. :P

And nakakausap ko si Ate Kaye dun. Nag-ask ako sa kanya kanina on what to do. Binigyan niya ako ng super effective na gagawin. And I'd do that. Yun luuungs~ <3

Follow ;

http://monochromatic-rainbow.tumblr.com

Sa Twitter na rin na isa kong tinatambayan kung san naman ako nakikipag KSPhan kay Kuya Paolo.

Follow;

http://twitter.com/OrAnneBerry

Hahaha. Unless may humiling. :3 Charooot. XD Eh kasi naman, ang lakas ng loob kumanta take note sabog ang boses ko. :/ Akala ko ako lang nakakarinig. And uhh, mali. =.=

Para daw akong may concert dito. LEL. Pero I don't mind kasi sila lang sa sala. PERO, kung narinig nila from sala, possible na rinig hanggang labas ng bahay.

Tapat ng bintana ko ay gate na palabas at mas malayo yung salas kesa sa gate at kalye. YEHEY.

/wrist.

Mas maganda na talagang mind your own business kesa naman may malaman ka pang di kanais-nais. BOOOO~ Di namin kita inaano tapos ganyan. Kalurkey! -____-

Pero dahil nga mabait ako eto nalang.

*bows.*

I feel so depressed and yet suddenly my heart leaps of joy. Idfkw.

Maybe I feel happy because now, you're not trying to sound like you care. Oh dear, do that all the time. Slash those false feelings. Stop pretending like you care? Please? It just.. hurts.

Ngayon, feel na feel ko na. Yung lahat nag-ipon na sa loob-loob ko, wala akong matakbuhan, wala akong mapagsabihan. Lahat sila may sarili nang mundo, isang mundo na hindi na kailangan yung existence ko.

How ironic. Forever can end in such a short time. Nakakaiyak. Kaya pala ako kinakabahan kanina sa jeep, may mangyayaring ganto.

Ang hirap, napakahirap. Iisipin nang iba ang arte, ang landi, ang kapal ng muka. Jstfocydka. Ang sakit sa feeling eh. Yung tipong tinatype ko toh kusa nalang bumabagsak yung luha ko tapos kailangan ko pa mag alt+tab para lang maputol yung feeling kasi nadisturb na nang iba. Grabe.

Well, sabagay. Sino nga ba naman ako eh. Isang kupal lang sa tabi-tabi na nagpapansin sainyo, na nakakuha nang pansin niyo, na inakala kong pinahalagahan niyo, na ngayon nagddrama at sinisisi kayo sa mga bagay na wala naman kayong ginawa, yung isang bagay na kasalanan ko rin naman talaga. Masyado akong UMASA sainyo. Yehey.

Kongratsuleysons. Masaya ka na?

Nakakasuka yung feeling. Nakakapamilipit ng sikmura. Putragis.

Sa ngayon, super pile up na yung sama ng loob ko. ANG SAKIT SA PUSO. There, I said it. Ang sakit nang sobra. I feel like I can burst out of nothingness. PUTANGINA. I just want to fckin kill everybody else. Damn you guys to hell.

Nakakasama ng loob, hindi sa sinusumbatan ko kayo. Pero nung mga panahong kailangan niyo ako, nandyan ako. Pero bakit ngayon, kung kailan kayo yung kailangan ko ng sobra-sobra, wala kayo.

Ang sarap magpakamatay out of randomness. Pero mas masaya pumatay. I have a lot of thoughts I keep burying beneath my brain and my heart pero dahil sa punong-puno na eh hindi na kasya.

Ang emo ko. Fck the world. I just wanna die, para maging masaya tayong lahat.

OHOHOHOHOHO~ So what's up? Eternally KV. I am just too happy and yet disappointed. :/

So there's this someone. Yeah, I can say we're friends. We occasionally talk online, but we rarely talk personally. I met him last school year. I just knew his existence last school year as well. And I was just TOO SHY to go talk to him because we didn't formally introduced ourselves.

So how did I know that it's him and same goes, how did he know it was me. c:

One time last school year, I was in SM Molino with DaniLynn. I think we're about to enter NB when I saw him descending the escalator.

Thoughts: Siya yun ah.

So as we are looking for random things inside NB, I noticed him following us. I was like laughing so hard inside.

We crossed from aisle to aisle, he's still following. :))) And when we reached the books area I suddenly stopped mesmerized by all those damn books I want to read and buy. And I thought he was gone because I looked around.

I was so shocked because he approached the other way.

Him: Ikaw po si Ate Anne diba?

Ako: Yep. blahblahblah.

I can't remember our very short conversation, but that was the start. I always see him at school. Walking pass the corridors, at the canteen, or during assemblies. Yeah. But I haven't talked to him once at school. Whenever we see each other, we just give a simple smile.

The first conversation we had this school year: He was just teasing me. Ni-lilink ako to some other online friend of mine. He's like 1 year late. But he has this devilish grin. =w= Makes him cuuuuter. LEL. And then again, I am a fangirl and some random bitch. :))

So what's up? I admit, he's my crush for like 4 months already. It all started because of the kawaii DP. :))))))))))

So now, he just pulled the last straw when he sung Hanggang Ngayon yesterday. asdghkl;'!@#$%^&*()_+ SRSLY, I HAVE NO IDEA THAT HE CAN SING. :| I was so shocked when I saw him on-stage.

He and Lara had a duet. :) I heard Lara's voice already so I am not impressed. But like hell, when he started singing his part, most of the students scream like a fan girl. Yeah, which includes me.

And since then, I can't get his voice out of my head. O~O

We had some random comment exchange on Facebook. I posted on his wall, praising his damn beautiful voice. :))

Anne: Ang ganda ng boses mo. blahblah.

Him: Sabog nga eh.

Anne: Eh kung sabog, pano pa boses ko? *worships.* Idol.

Him: PERFECT! Idol na din kita. :">

Anne: Amf! Perfect pa daw. :)) Though lies, thanks Idol! :3

Him: Sorry, hindi pa kasi kita naririnig kumanta eh! Kanta ka bukas.

Anne: Nakakahiya. Pero sige, basta makita mo ako eh. Pasensya nalang sa ear drums mo if ever.

Him: Di yaaan! :))

Random convo. I seriously grinned like an idiot when he said that my voice was perfect and suddenly LOLed. I was like, WTF. :))) So he wanted me to sing for him, sadly saying I was not prepared when he approached me this morning. I still am carrying my books with me and I was panting and coughing like hell. Nuuuu~ =w=

I mentioned his name more than 20 times today. WAHAHAHAHA. Emf. I honestly did. *w*

Another funny moment. I was in charge of taking pictures because Max has to prepare. I took random shots from the Franklin class. I keep on adjusting the settings because I just can't find the perfect one for better image quality. At some point, I pressed the shutter release button it suddenly flashed. OwO And that time, he's the one in front of the group. He faced my direction. K. I instantly hid my face and took some more shots. =w= Nakakahiya. :/

I feel like I am a stalker. HAHA. Amf. :)) Still, happy.

I am so going talk to him on Monday, if given the chance. And I'd be with Von so it's gonna be okay. :3 Hopefully, he will not make me sing. :/

Kthanksdie. I am still kinikilig. ♥